The older I get the less I give a shit what anyone thinks of me. I know who I am and what I'm about and pretty much only worry about what I think of myself, cause in the end you can't hide from yourself. These are the kind of dopey thoughts that start to go through your head as you get older... I also don't really read or post on any forums or FB community pages like this anymore, due to the fact that things always get taken out of context or there's someone ready to take some miniscule part of a comment and blow it out of proportion, manipulate it and twist it to suite some nonsense argument or make someone look bad. So over the last couple days I really haven't been following "Glenngate." Just getting updates here and there from Eric about the latest nonsense lie or over exaggeration about us.
Then Glenn posted a clip from my AA marathon where I supposedly attacked him. I say supposedly, because from what I watched of the clip, I didn't say anything about him. I thought he grabbed the wrong clip, since I know I went off on him after he hijacked DataGod's "Joel West" post and turned it into a crap-on-John's-marathon post, which really pissed me off. (There's a difference between having an opinion on the validity of a strategy and wording it to imply I'm a blatant cheater.) Since the clip was from my twitch page, I deleted it and went about my business of not giving a shit. Apparently things were heating up and eventually Glenn posted another link. From what I was told, this clip did have the correct part where I went off on Glenn. Not having a clue where to even find it, Eric sent me a link and I watched in dismay as I went way further in the rant as I originally thought. As I watched I realized the things I was saying weren't even based on personally knowing Glenn, they were based on a few FB posts where Glenn was less than friendly, his previous association with Rudy and opinions and stories from others. Even taking his marathon bashing post into consideration, I had no right to publicly say those things in general, let alone with no personal experience to back them up. This is not who I am or who I want to be. I let my temper and emotions get the best of me and fell into the trap of letting others influence my thoughts and decisions to the point where I publicly insulted a person I don't even know.
I called Glenn and we were able to iron things out man to man. We agreed there was bad judgment on both sides. It was a conversation that will stick with me a long time. Glenn didn't really know me and I didn't really now him, so it would be easy to talk shit about each other and just blow it off and play tough guy. But we both realize this isn't the way things should be in the scene. People say and do dumb shit all the time, but instead of working it out they let it build up and cause more problems for more people. We're not going that route. We're going to actually take the time to have fun, play some games and get to know each other. Maybe I am a cheater with zero integrity... Maybe Glenn is a turd and a d-bag... But at least we'll figure it out ourselves and not let others determine who our friends or enemies are.
A few other personal issues have also been straightened out between Glenn, Eric and myself. The funny thing is, it took all this bullshit to realize that most of the issues were misunderstandings and misinterpretations of each others actions. Things were said back and forth in the heat of arguments and hurt feelings. The word harassment gets thrown around a lot these days and we were guilty of abusing the word ourselves. Non of these back and forth exchanges were harassing. Just VERY heated conversation.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Hopefully you wont see another long post like this from me. Ever.
-John
