Opening verse from "Casual Mail" by Pony Express circa 2001 as evidenced by the dated references I use:
You wish you had Kris Benson's life, throw .500 ball, then go home and bang his wife.
That's the surreal life, only this is real life, so instead of her you got John Silverman's sister.
Hold up, y'all must have come off the ship of fools
Cause you puttin me to sleep like The Cidar House Rules
DJ Igneous Rock, beats sick, deadly like a manticore
Clutch like Hendu, crazy like Donnie Moore
It's the PE baby, been feared, neck beard, no stubble, leave you broke like Trouble with no dice in the bubble.
Pony Express be sweet like old Pez, always in high-res, stretch singles into doubles.
Divide my time between rhyming and climbing over those who think prose like mine can flow free from just any old mind.
Crowds shout "P, how you get so daft?", been in the game so long I spit for William H. Taft.
I put lead back into gas, eat pheasant over glass, chaotic good cleric with no armor class.
Cause I...Hunt like Helen, sail like Magellan, convicted felon, gettin more ass than Ellen.
All shit that's been done yo I seen it, stuck my dick in Lisa Loeb, but I really didn't mean it.
On the move like Arlo Pear, while you hurt like Steve McNair, got the "C" like Danny Gare, book my own world tours, pay all the cab fare.
